


Till I Collapse

by Wandering_Spirits



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: 18+, F/F, F/M, Multi, NSFW, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Re-write, Sorry Not Sorry, Triggers, if you see a ship you don't like, most of these relationships are implied, not for everybody, sorry - Freeform, this deals with lots of mental health
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:34:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28144674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wandering_Spirits/pseuds/Wandering_Spirits
Summary: Demitra Orlov, childhood friend of Bloodhound, has found herself in a predicament caused by her parents death. Still unsure of who to trust, she puts her life in the hands of the Syndicate, who promptly throw her into the Apex Games. Why? Maybe to wash their hands clean of the woman, or to use her for other nefarious purposes. All she knows is that she wasn't built for something like this, but she had to try. Not backing down was in her blood. They want her to cry. They want her to bleed. They want her to break. "They won't get what they want 'till I collapse. I'll make sure of that."A story with a little bit of this, little bit of that, LOTS of angst. There will be ships in here that some of you may not agree with. Sorry ahead of time.
Relationships: Bloodhound/Mirage | Elliott Witt, Caustic | Alexander Nox/Original Female Character(s), Mirage | Elliott Witt & Revenant, Mirage | Elliott Witt/Original Female Character(s), bloodhound/ original female character, revenant (apex legends)/ original female character
Kudos: 12





	1. Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> A re-write of a story I had. Figured I would delete what I had, and start semi-fresh. It really went off-track very quickly. Comments are very much appreciated!

Fire. It burned all around. Smoke was burning my insides with every breath I took.  _ What happened? What’s going on? Mom...Dad… _ My eyes shot open, but something wasn’t right. It was almost as if I was looking through a peephole. The thoughts of my missing parents were quickly derailed as the panic set in. I couldn’t see out of my left eyes. I lifted my left hand to brush it out of the way. Nothing. I tried again, but this time the action was accompanied by pain shooting through my entire left side.  _ Oh Gods….Oh Gods...Please, this is just a dream….JUST A DREAM! _

“FUCK!” I sat up with a gasp, sweat pouring down my body. I quickly touched my left arm only to be met with what I already knew. It didn’t stop the dread that filled my nightmare. My left arm was gone; as was my left eye. I could still smell the noxious fumes of the fire. No matter how hard I tried that day still haunted me. Bloth had told me it would never go away, but it would get better with time. I hoped so. I lost everything that day. My home, my parents and parts of myself. Sure I had prosthetics now, my new eye was set to come soon. Maybe that was why the nightmares were more frequent? Was my anxiety about being able to see in both eyes again that triggering?  _ Something to ask my therapist later…. _

I glanced at my clock and sighed heavily.  _ Only 7 A.M…..seriously?  _ There was no point in me attempting to go back to sleep. The alarm was going to go off in an hour anyway. I tried not to let myself get too depressed over losing an hour of sleep as I threw my covers off. Going through the motions I’ve had to go through these last few months I plugged my prosthetic arm into its socket. The design was elegant, dynamic in its design, and similar to how Silva’s legs were attached. I could have gotten the kind that was permanently on my body, but with what I did nowadays, not the best idea. Once the LEDs turned on, I flexed my appendage to test that it was working properly. Seeing that it was I wobbled to stand before making my way to the bathroom to get ready for the day. The hot water felt fantastic on my sore body. Thankfully it also helped chase the memories away. 

“Blip, what’s on the agenda for today?”

The little A.I. I had in my arm ‘blipped’ to life; the reason for its name. In its little masculine, cheery voice, Blip responded, “Currently you have nothing on your schedule; other than training the Bloodhound at 9 A.M. Would you like to add something to your schedule? Might I recommend a spa treatment?”   
  


“A spa treatment?”

“Your vitals show that your blood pressure is really high. Might I suggest a-”

“Blip, we talked about this. Stop running my vitals.”

“As much as I would like to oblige your request, Demitra, I am unable to do so. Need I remind you that my programming comes first.”

“-your programming comes first,” I mimicked him, turning the shower off to dry off. “Fine. Since you suggested it, why not? What’s available?” Happy to help out, he began to list off different spas and what they had available. I chose one at three in the afternoon. Training with my mentor normally took a few hours, and it would give me time to shower and change. Once I was dried off, and my ointment applied to my skin, I threw on a pair of leggings, sports bra, black tank top and a pair of sneakers. No need to do anything with my hair, I just let it dry naturally; so it began to poof on my right side. As I walked to the commons area my mind wandered back to what my life had become. How did a hermits daughter become part of a bloodsport? People kept asking me that and many other questions I had no answers to. The Legends at least were accommodating; well, some of them. 

Ever since I came here I strayed away from interacting with people. It was hard. Not socializing like I wanted to, but the loneliness I felt when around the Legends was palpable. That is not to say that I haven't bonded with any of them. Gibby, Silva and Ajay are like siblings, in a weird way. Bloth was a friend of mine from childhood; so they were the easiest to talk with. Bangalore was, to put it gently, the ‘mom-friend’ that no one asked for. Not that I was complaining, but it would be nice if she didn’t bark orders at me after training. Witt and Crypto were alright; Elliot attempting to flirt with me was laughable; why he would even try was beyond me. I got along well-enough with Wattson, Wraith and Caustic. The scientists were loners; at least the two women were nice to talk to. I feel like every time I try to talk to Caustic he was trying to play mind games, but he was polite enough. It is hard to not develop some sort of relationship with the gang; it is just human nature. Bloth and Wraith tried to help with the loss I have been feeling, but-

You can't replace your whole family that easily.

I frowned, shaking my head to myself, trying to shoo away the dark thoughts that plagued me. This was the reason I haven't stopped moving since I got here. It was easier to keep the depression away when I was too exhausted to feel. Strolling into the commons I saw Bloth was already eating, Artur sitting on their shoulder. The bird gave a coo of greetings, flying over to land on my shoulder. I cringed on instinct more than feeling. Most of my nerves in my left shoulder were shot. “Morning, Demitra. You are up earlier than I expected you to be,” Bloth hummed, without the mask their voice was less muffled. Still had a gravely tone, thick with the accent of our homeland. I still had mine, but it was severely toned down due to how much traveling I’ve done since childhood. “Yeah, same. Early birds catch the worm, though. Right, Artur?” I gave the raven a few pats which he enjoyed. Bloth’s dark eyes eyed me calmly before sipping their tea. “We can skip training, if you wish?” 

“No! You are going to be gone for the next few days. I can’t go because of the surgery. Want at least a day with you.” I walked past the table to make myself some food. To my surprise there was already a plate of eggs, bacon and sausage sitting in the refrigerator. A glance over my shoulder confirmed Bloodhound was smiling. “The All-Father told me you would be up early, filage.” 

“Ah. Thanks.” I heated up the plate in the microwave then sat next to them. We sat in silence for a few minutes before they cleared their throat. “Perhaps, instead of training, we could prepare Jol? I know you haven’t had a proper one in a long while. I still need a few things, and we can grab a couple items you need so you can start? I will be back the night of Jol; so we can begin then. If you wish.” It had been so long since I was a part of the tradition of our community. My parents had attempted to keep it alive when I was a child, but as it got harder to hide from the people hunting them, it was something I had forgotten. By the time Bloodhound had finished with their idea, I was already beaming with happiness. It made them smile softly too. “Yeah! I mean, we can still train if you want? I have an appointment around three; so we can go into the city to grab what we need then split ways?”

“Appointment? You hardly leave the compound.”

“Blip thought some special treatment was in order. Gonna try out an actual spa.” They raised both eyebrows at that revelation. Then they chuckled, sipping their tea. “That A.I. of yours is something else.” 

“Thank you, Bloodhound! I like you too.” Blip talking suddenly had both of us coughing on our drinks. Bloth was laughing as I felt my face heat up while I glared at the little chibi guy smile. “Blip! Go to sleep.” He did with a wink which only made my mentor laugh even harder. “I...I am sorry, filagi. It caught me off-guard.” 

“It’s okay. He likes being nosy. Let’s finish up this, though.”

\--

// _ Training today had been less about strength, and more about technique. I swear Bloth is going to twist my legs off; they kept having to push them in the right place. Who knew that knife throwing was that intricate? I didn’t. After going over the technique for different weapons they wanted me to learn we cleaned up to go into town. The city wasn’t as busy as I thought it would be. Bloth needed some more ingredients for food. We grabbed things for me to make my altar. When they get back in four days, they said they would help me with my altar. It..// _

I paused in typing out my journal. The therapist the Syndicate provided recommended I do this everyday. It was supposedly to help me process my emotions better, or review scenarios that could have been handled better. It also helped put me in a meditative state. After thinking for a moment I typed with a smile. // _ It is nice to finally be around someone from where I am from. I was worried that they weren’t going to include me. It had been a nice surprise. In other news my first spa treatment was pretty nice too! They weren’t judging my scars, and were very careful handling everything. Maybe I should listen to Blip’s advice more often.// _


	2. Chapter 2: A Spat

“This fucking sucks.” Bloodhound had been gone since this morning and I was already bored out of my mind. None of the others seemed to be up, or around to help with my predicament. Witt was at his bar with Wraith and Octavio. Bangalore had somehow convinced Crypto, Gibraltar and Pathfinder into doing a duos match in the training arena. Ajay said she was going to the local hospital to help out there with the recent fires that hit the poorer part of Solace. Revenant was, well, doing Revenant things. That left me with only Natalie and Caustic; both of whom were probably down in their respective labs. One would like to see me, the other not so much. Not after I blew that last match. I buried my face into the Nessie pillow Nat had given me as a ‘get well soon’ gift. That last match was so embarrassing.  _ Wasn’t completely my fault, but still….Ugh, why do I even care about what that stuffy scientist thinks anyway? He is so pretentious anyway.  _

I dropped Nessie to the ground before rolling off the couch.  _ It is his fault too! I will be damned if he thinks he can get away with putting all the blame on me! _ I began to make my way to the labs part of the compound. Technically it was a separate building entirely that was joined by an enclosed bridge. This was to ensure the safety of everyone just in case one of their experiments went kaboom. Soon as the blast doors closed I felt the hairs on my neck rise. I don't come down here often. Last time I was down here was when Ajay was showing me different prosthetic arms. The labs were cold compared to the other building. The air itself was very much like a hospital; it was completely sterilized. I stood there for a moment in the bright light to take in the quiet. BAM!  _ Nevermind _ . I jogged fast to where I heard the crash of something falling, soon picking up on curses in French. I came across Natalie’s lab; as evident by her name on the sliding door. The automatic door slid open as I entered, my eyes zeroing in on her struggling to carry some heavy-looking boxes. Quickly I began to assist her, which caused her to gasp in shock. "Demitra! You startled me. What are you doing down here?"

"Boredom. If you needed help, Watty, why didn't you say anything?" I grunt in reply; heaving the crate over to the nearest table. The blonde woman looked sheepish, wavy blonde hair sweeping into her face. It looked as if she gave up trying to tame it into a headband which was now around her neck. "I normally request Dr. Caustic assist me, but he is extremely busy with his new project. I did not know you would be here, either." Nodding along I went and grabbed the other crate where she guided me to where she wanted it. "Finished working out today, and I didn't feel like working on my painting. Good thing I wandered down here. You could break a foot with these things!" Another grunt as I push it onto the table. "The hell is in these anyway?"

Her blue eyes practically lit up, shooing me away so she could open a crate. "It is something I am investing some interest in! You know how we have Arc Stars, Frags and Thermites?"

"Yeah, you like to collect them like a bird."

"Hush," she chastised in amusement. "Well, I was thinking of making a new kind of grenade for the games! When tossed it can stick to any surface, then detonates in a way that encases whomever is attached!” I stared at her for a moment to process everything. “You want to make a sticky bomb that freezes people?”

"Oui!"

"You are fucking evil, ya know that? You think the Syndicate would approve of it?"

"I do not believe that it is evil; devious, yes." She smirked. Now I knew she had been around Caustic too much. Speaking of which. "So the gas man is busy, huh? He came up with a new poison to kill us all?" Her look soured a moment. "I wish you all would see the man I see. He is a man of science..."

"Who has an affinity for ignoring ethical morals. I'm just poking fun. If Caustic really hated me cracking jokes about him wanting us all dead, he would have gassed me by now. 'Sides, I kinda find the whole chemical thing fascinating. If I was any more bright I would have gone into it."

"I think you are rather intelligent, Demitra. Just because you don’t have a doctorate, does not mean you are of lower intelligence." She patted my shoulder to which I returned it. "Thanks. I am just not mathematically inclined like you both are. Anyways," I bent down to lift the last crate. "I am glad he isn't here. I know the last game we had together didn't go how he wanted, and it was more or less my fault. I potatoed my shot."

"It was pretty bad, but I am sure he holds no grudge!" She began to empty the crates of whatever the substance was. It was in large glass containers. "Heh, you say that but then he doesn't even give me his normal courteous 'Hello' in the morning now. It’s been, like, three days." She laughed lightly, shooting me a look that I couldn't quite place. I paused in opening another crate to scrutinize her. "What?"

"Correct me if I am wrong, you know I am horrible at reading people, but it seems to me you are sad he doesn't talk to you despite the lack of communication you two have." I narrowed my eyes some more at her, my brain denying what she was implying. She carried on. "It just seems that you have a crush, I do believe."

I laugh so hard and loud that it startles Natalie. It took a good minute for me to calm down, tears streaking my face. "O...Oh Gods....Natalie...N..No." My sides hurt. It had been awhile since I laughed like that. I wiped the tears away, still giggling, as I explained, "I am not laughing at you, let me be clear. That notion is just ridiculous. I do not have a crush on that old man. Not to say he isn't attractive! He has his moments that are interesting, but come on; he is a man of science. I really, really doubt he even feels remotely like that." She nodded along though looking confused. "Then why do you seem upset?"

"Eh, because his ghosting of me is quite childish considering we have won plenty of games together."

"With him doing most of the work."

"Hey! That it is not my fault if he gets there before me! Gah, I am not gonna debate this." I was trying not to let my irritation peek through. Natalie just didn't understand which wasn't her fault. At least she was trying. There was an awkward moment of silence before I moved to look at the glass bottles. "So what is this stuff?"

Happy for the distraction Wattson began to explain that it was a sticky polymer that she was going to mix together to base the grenade off of. "The only issue is that this polymer has a rubber base inside to create that stick, but makes it hard to form. So I will need to find a binder that will not only have it hold its shape, but keep the stickiness."

"Make sure you also factor in the person holding it....What if you make a mixture that is solid at first, but then becomes sticky once it is thrown?"

"You mean have some sort of pin?"

"Yeah. Makes no sense if the person throwing the grenade gets stuck too."

She put a finger to her chin, tapping it idly as the gears whirled in her blonde head. Those eyes lit up as an idea struck. "A casing! It will be ball shaped; easy to throw and handle, all they would need to do is hit a button and toss! There will be a five second timer to ensure the mixture does not prematurely detonate." As she rambled on about the best course of action she went over to the large board and began to write down equations. I sat back to watch the magic happen. It wasn't everyday that she allowed people to watch her work. "Demitra?"

"Hm?"

"Would you like to be my assistant for this pet project? Considering you have been very helpful with your input! I also may want the company," she shyly asked. "I understand if you say n-"

"Yes. Yes, I will help you." She blinked in surprise. I myself was a bit caught off-guard at the eagerness in my voice. I sigh. "I didn't mean to interrupt. It is just that...recently things haven't been...great. The normal routine I have is no longer helping me cope. I feel it may help me mentally if I take you up on your offer. It gives us a chance to socialize while keeping our minds busy, no?" Wattson came over, laying a hand on my shoulder with a sympathetic smile. "Oui. Now then, lab assistant," she giggled briefly, I smiled widely in turn. "There are several chemicals that we need to mix the solution. I already put in an order for the mixing machine, but some of the chemicals we have here. They are just in Dr. Caustic's lab. Here," she handed me a list. Some of the names I recognized. "Sulfur, zinc oxide, Thi...Thiazolyl?" It was her turn to laugh. "Close. Just give it to him and he should be able to give it to you."

"I thought you said he is working right now, though?" She looked at the clock on the wall. "He takes a break around this time. I'm sure once he knows we are doing an experiment, he will happily oblige you. Now, shoo, I need to be in silence for the rest of this equation." Ah, so that is why she wanted me to grab the stuff. I allowed her to gently push me out the door with a laugh. The automatic door slid shut, and I was once again alone in the eerie hallway. Not remotely bothered now, I hummed a tune as I meandered down to where I believe Caustic's lab was. I had only seen it in passing, but my memory seemed to be working today. I soon found myself in an even darker part of the labs. I guess that it was one way to save money when there were only two working scientists amongst the legends. I started wondering if I really was going the right way, until it started getting brighter. It was then I saw a glass window where there were multiple plants with UV lamps shining on them. He really did love his plants. I hastened my approach, pushing the buzzer by the door once I realized I did not see the mad scientist. Maybe he was farther down in his work area?

"What are you doing here, Ms. Orlov?"

I am ashamed to admit it, but I squeaked, jumping a foot in the air. Whirling around I came face to face with Caustic who was holding what appeared to be some wiring in his meaty hand. It wasn't often that I saw him without his gear on. I can now tell Silva that Caustic is indeed just as burly without the bulky gear on. It was also weird to see him without his respirator. Huh, he must be having a good day then. He had rather handsome features for an older man; especially since he wasn’t slicked in that weird oil of his. I knew it had to do with making him immune to his own gas, but it still made him look gross. Now his dark hair looked soft, not greasy, and he seemed to have it gelled back a bit. Of course he had some wrinkles, little crow feet near his eyes, but he was still pretty good-looking. Those toxic green eyes of his narrowed at me when I did not answer him right away. As my brain was still trying to calm my now racing heart, I silently handed him the paper. He looked at it briefly then took it to read. His brow raised immediately, eyeing me once again. "Is there a particular reason you are trying to make hardened rubber?"

"Ah, I am helping Natalie with a pet project. She, um, asked me to grab these from you so she could concentrate on a formula."

This seemed to make him even more curious. "You are helping Ms. Paquette....with a project?"

Oh the condescension in his tone immediately bristled me. "Yes! She liked the idea I gave her, and wants some company while making it. So she more or less made me her assistant for the time being," I huffed at him, glaring. This seemed to confuse him a little bit then he gave a small smirk. "Interesting." Oh I hated him so much. If it wasn't just the two of us, and I thought I could get away with it, I'd slap him with my titanium left hand. "What is this project you are..helping her with?"

"It's a secret. I don't think she wants to tell people yet." That made him frown, and it was my turn to smirk. "You realize that I will eventually find out?"

"From her, more than likely, yes. I don't want to steal her thunder so to say. Now are you going to give me this stuff, or not?"

"Well, you are blocking the door." Blinking, I glanced behind me. Dammit, he won this round for my lack of foresight. Sheepishly I stepped out of his way, trying my damnedest to ignore that smirk again, and he input the code to the door. It slid open with an ominous hiss. "Follow me." I did so without question, sticking as close as I could to him, not wanting to accidentally knock anything over. Last thing I needed was to be stuck in a room with an angry Caustic. We went way to the back of his work area, to what appeared to be a designated break room of sorts. There was a refrigerator, coffee maker, pantry, an unused sofa and a torn apart microwave. "Oh so that is what the wires are for.."

"What?" I looked at him staring at me. "Oh, the wires in your hand. I wondered what they were for then I saw your microwave." He blinked then nodded to my attention to detail. At least he could acknowledge that about me. "Yes the thermal wire needs replacing. It has put me behind schedule." The irritation was clear in his voice. It was far less gravelly without the mask, but still just a nerve wracking. Despite having played a few games with the man, he still made me nervous. The rumors about him, not to mention his precision in the Apex Games, was all terrifying. Especially for a new contender like me who was just tossed into the whole thing without gaining popularity like the rest of them. I knew a few of the Legends were confused as to why a civ like me was even here. I know they felt I should be more suited to a quiet life. They were right, of course, but that wasn't an option for me anymore. Not since the Syndicate basically owned me now. If they wanted me to play in the games, they were going to make me play. Bloodhound and Bangalore knew this which was why they were adamantly training me harder and harder each day. The extra fat I had before dwindled down to just a cushion layer. The rest was all muscle. With the amount of running I do, I am surprised my legs don't look like tree trunks.

"Ah, I see. Well, if you want to just show me where you keep the stuff, I can grab them carefully while you fix that?" I offered, trying to be helpful. He seemed to consider it before shaking his head, moving to the counter to deposit the wiring. "No. Knowing you something disastrous will happen." So much for trying to be nice. "I beg your pardon?" He barely turned to look at me as he began to assemble the wires to the microwave. "I am merely stating the truth. You tend to blunder your way through things. As the chemicals you need can be hazardous I would rather not risk having to clean up a mess, and a dead body today." I felt my eye twitch, my heart rate increase. I had a feeling I knew what he was referring to. "This is about me throwing the last match, isn't it." He did not say anything but continued to work. Silence speaks a thousand words after all. I sigh loudly, putting my hand to my temple. "By the gods, look. I will admit I messed up my shot. However that does not mean I completely mess up everything I do."

"No, but it does tell me that there is at least a fifteen percent chance of you having such an incident in the future. One I would rather not take a chance again." Oh that stung.  _ My breathing; remember to breathe. Don't say something stupid. _ "Well, if that is the case, then I guess I should just tell Natalie to order these chemicals." Too late. He paused to look back at me with an unreadable expression. "What?"

"I am just going off of your logic. If you cannot trust me because of a chance I may drop something based on a singular match, then it is safe to say I cannot trust your judgment on the chemicals you provide me."

"And what are you basing that on?" His voice got an edge to it, but I was riding my high too much to care. I had gotten under his skin.

"The fact you can't make a proper call out on where an enemy is."

Oh if looks could kill. The air seemed to become chilly with the tension. "I made the right call." He growled. I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "Yeah, about five minutes too late when they were already on us!" Caustic was suddenly too close for comfort, but I would not back down. I smelled success in my future. He towered over me, a shadow going over his face as he glared down at me. Fear raced through me, giving me an extra shot of adrenaline that kept me from sprinting out of the lab. "That is an exaggeration. It was only thirty seconds. Plenty of time to react."

"In what world?! We already had fucking Silva down, you had no shields, half health and I had only two shields up with barely any health! We were tired, under prepared and lacking a third body; there was no time to react. If we had prepared more instead of going in gun-ho into Bunker then maybe my reaction time would have been better." The glares we were sharing would have made his plants wilt. Neither of us wanted to break eye contact. He was practically quaking in silent rage. It was strange to see his whole face contort in emotion. Normally it was just his eyes I saw. He wanted to kill me. "The cabinet is in the back. The code is 48652. Take what you need," he finally snarled, turning on his heel to go back to his microwave. I stood in stunned silence for a moment then hurried to where he said it was. My hands shook as I punched the code in, attempting to calm my nerves so I didn't drop anything. There was a nearby cart that I put everything on. As I passed him on the way out I shot a quick, "Will bring this back soon." It was not even five minutes more before I was back with Natalie.

She looked rather alarmed to see me burst through the sliding door, locking it immediately. "Oh mon Dieu! What are you doing? Why do you look so shaken?" She lay a hand on my shoulder, gasping once again as she felt me quivering. "Anxiety is a marvelous thing, huh? I may have had a spat with Caustic. Pretty sure he contemplated murdering me." She gawked at me, stepping back to give me room to breathe. "Why?!"

"Long story short, he called me incompetent to handle bottles because of how we lost that last match; so I told him he was also incompetent because he gave the wrong call out for us." Her mouth just kept falling open wider the more I explained. I waved a dismissing hand. "It is okay though because he let me grab what we needed....though I do have to give him this cart back." Natalie finally closed her mouth looking very worried. "That was stupid, Demitra."

"Yeah but I am not one to be bullied. I wasn't about to let him think I was a push over."

"Mm, yes, I suppose that is a good thing. I just have never known anyone to talk to him like that. Well," she moved to look at the cart. "Seems you got everything we need. Let us just enjoy your victory with some experimenting!" I was more than happy to oblige her distraction.

xxx

//Natalie ended up telling me to leave the cart. That she would give it back to him. I just agreed and went back to my room. It had been really fun to help her out. We haven't found the right consistency yet because of the different mixtures needing to sit in the heated pots. She thinks we made enough of the dry mixtures that when we add the wet ingredients it shouldn't take long after that. Kinda like baking! I miss baking with my grandmother.... I wonder if she knew what I was doing, if she would approve. I mean, she did have a habit to shoot at trespassers.//

I was currently in my room typing in my diary. // I already know that what happened in the labs could have been done differently. I knew that when I opened my mouth. I could have been more polite, tried to stroke his ego, but you know what? Fuck him! I get that he is a sociopath, but he is still just another man. He bleeds. I would like to see him try something.// The digital keyboard made a resounding clack as I punctuated that last sentence. My resolve was clear. If Caustic was going to try something then he would have to be careful. Staring at the screen I decided to add a few more things. //With that being said, I do respect the man. I just wish he would learn to respect others. Not doing so can earn you a few enemies; especially here.//

Suddenly there was knocking at my door. Polite yet persistent knocking. The kind where you knock three times, but hard enough to get attention. Rolling my chair back, I got up with a quick, "One sec!" Moving to wrap my robe around me. No one needed to see me in my underwear. Once that was secure I tussled my hair and opened the door.

To my surprise it was Natalie on the other side holding her stuffed Nessie plush and a bag of snacks. “I know that you had a rough day, and that you might be tired, but I was hoping we could have a sleepover? I, uh, don’t want to be alone right now.” She looked like she had a nightmare. The fear was still in her eyes. I knew what that was like. Not being one to turn down some company, I let her in and we settled on my bed. “Wanna watch this old sci-fi movie and see if we can replicate anything tomorrow?”  I smiled as she laughed. “Oui. It should be fun.” 

Probably the best night of sleep I’ve had in awhile.


	3. Chapter 3: News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something went wrong with their experiment; so Demitra and Natalie investigate.

The next day proved to be about the same in terms of my routine. I got up before Natalie, went on a run, met her for breakfast before I went to shower and meet her in the lab. Apparently she expedited the order on the rest of the materials we needed to work on the housing. It was work I was familiar with; sawing, soldering and socializing with a partner. My mother and I would do this all the time when she was fixing broken machines for clients. It was probably the most relaxing thing I was going to do for the next week. “Demi?”    
  
“Hm?” I paused my soldering tool to hear Natalie better.    
  
“What is it like to, well, have a crush on someone?” That wasn’t a question I expected from the blonde scientist. I thought for a moment before turning the tool back on so I could make the ‘ribs’. “Why do you ask?”

“Our conversation about Dr. Caustic yesterday. I made an error with my observations between you two; so what does it look like to have a crush on someone?” She replied, not once looking up from measuring out the sheet metal. I contemplated how to answer such a question. One would think it was straight forward, but those who know the truth know it is anything but simple. “You like to be around them,” I began to explain. “You think they are attractive in some way. I personally know that I find people attractive based on how they carry themselves…..You were not entirely wrong about Dr. Caustic.” I tried to ignore the sudden eyes on me. 

“You said that you do not like him?”

“Not romantically, no. I happen to like someone else in that sense. Dr. Caustic, however, exudes enough confidence that is attractive. Not to mention he isn’t completely unattractive.” I looked over to her and saw she was amused, but intrigued. “Then why do you not act on it?”

“Because he aggravates me whenever he opens his mouth. In some ways he is similar to Mirage when he talks to you, but in the opposite ways. Mirage is trying to boost himself up because he lacks confidence; Caustic doesn’t lack confidence and demeans anyone he feels is lower than himself. It is a typical narcissistic trait for diagnosed sociopaths to have; either way I do not like being talked down too. Therefore I do not wish to pursue the attraction. Plus,” I added with a small laugh. “I doubt an incel like him feels any attraction unless it's from a reflection of himself.” Despite how close Natalie and Dr. Caustic were, my comment had her stifling some laughter which I took as she agreed with me. 

The rest of our time together was directed towards our pet project. This mainly consisted of me doing most of the manual labor and her doing the calculations. I did not mind this at all. Mathematics in general hurt my head, and I was more than willing to test how strong I had become with the heavy boxes of supplies. The time came for us to mix the solutions together. Natalie practically skipped toward the metal containers behind the solvent hood. The skip in her step faltered once she had the lid off one. “No...No, no, this is not right at all.”

“What’s wrong?” I hurried over, thinking she may have hurt herself. 

“The solutions seemed to have hardened,” she replied in a deep sigh, moving so I could see everything. I frowned. That did not make sense, we only mixed the dry stuff. A few pokes to the grey-brown stuff in the container, and I knew something was amiss. “That is rubber. Someone had to have come in here and poured the liquid chemicals in it overnight. I know for a fact that we didn’t….unless you sleepwalk?” Natalie shook her head. Both of us frowned. “That would mean that someone intentionally came in here...I do not like that idea.” She hummed nervously. 

“Well, who has access to your lab?”

“Me, Dr. Caustic and the janitor…..but the chemicals I had on hand were locked in their respective cases which the janitor does not have access to!”

“And we did not get the rest of the stuff till today; meaning that someone else had the liquids already.” I tapped my chin with the left index finger. “Does Caustic have access to the cabinet?”

“Oui, but again, we only had half of the four liquid ingredients. He wouldn’t do this. Why do you think he did?”

I grimaced. Dr. Mikhail Caustic was a man of reputation. That reputation was no funny business. That did not mean the rumors about him being the man named Alexander Nox, a known murderer with a petty streak, did not escape my attention. “Because I pissed him off yesterday, and he did not look happy that I took the space as ‘lab partner’. Look, I am not saying he did it, but I doubt the janitor would do something like this. I most definitely didn’t do it either; I don’t even have a key to here.” This rational explanation seemed to trouble her. I knew through the grapevine that the scientist had more or less taken her under his wing when her father passed. The idea that someone she admired would sabotage something purely out of spite was not settling well with my friend. Not that I liked the idea either. “How about we go and ask him? Maybe we did just mix something wrong, or I dropped something I was not supposed to?”

Natalie seemed unsure, but nodded in agreement. “He would be the best person to ask. Let me do the talking, though.” 

“For sure.”

So began the commute down the darkened halls to the indoor greenhouse that was the trappers lab. It came as no surprise to me that the blonde knew the code to his door, beeping the doorbell three times before entering with me following like a shadow. “Dr. Caustic?”

“Ah, Ms. Paquette! I was hoping you would stop by to visit.” The scientist’s voice called from around the corner. We rounded it in time to see him turn in his lab chair; prattling on. “It seems I have found an interesting discovery with this  _ Gymnospermae-” _ He stopped mid-sentence as his eyes landed on me which was a shame because it was interesting to hear him express something other than disdain. “If you are here for an apology,” he started, but Natalie interrupted. 

“No, she is not here for that. You two can work that out later. We were going to mix the liquids today into the solid mixture we already had, but it seems that it has already hardened.”

“Like someone had added the liquids in the middle of the night,” I added.

“And we were hoping you would come and look. To see if maybe we had done something wrong last night.” 

“We don’t want to accuse the poor janitor of ruining an expensive pet project.”

The older man regarded us pensively for a moment. Since I was not here to start another argument, and his favorite little pupil was asking for help; he seemingly resigned himself by sighing heavily. He took his goggles off before getting up. “I see no reason to not lend a hand. Rubber can be tricky. Considering neither of you have the experience with it,” he gave me a side glance and I poked my tongue out at him. Natalie clapped her hands in relief, giving us both a big grin. He gave her a tiny smile which I found cute but then gave me the nastiest glare. For some reason it rather stung that he did that. 

I cleared my throat. “Before that, since it is not going anywhere, you had said something about finding something with the  _ Gymnospermae?  _ That would be a ‘Dream Cone’, right?” I glanced at my friend for approval to which she gave me a tiny thumbs up. It was best to stroke his ego to lighten the mood. Caustic gave me a rather surprised look; either because I knew what the hell a  _ Gymnospermae  _ was, or I knew how to pronounce it. “My dad gave me random books to read when we were traveling. One of them was about the different plant life in Kings Canyon and on Solace.” 

“How very interesting. Well, since you were polite enough to ask,” he murmured, gesturing us toward his work area and to the microscope. He fiddled with it for a moment, and then an image popped up on the screen next to us. We all stared at the image which was makeshift blobs. It took a moment to figure out why he was excited. I took a step closer and pointed to a tiny nucleus-shape in the middle of a blob. “Is that what I think it is?”

“If you think it is a sub-species of a fungi that is very rare; yes, you are correct.” He hummed rather proudly from behind. “This is incredible! Iscons were thought to have been wiped out on this planet. Only a handful of conservative greenhouses have these. You got the cone from where?” I turned to him with glee on my face. He seemed happy that I knew what I was talking about. “There is a handful of Dream Cone trees near the Capacitor. I grabbed a few from our last match.”

“I do not know much about the flora on Kings Canyon except for what to stay away from. Why grab Dream Cones?” Natalie piped up. 

“They produce an enzyme in their pods that is quite useful in toxins. It acts as a deterrent for animals to not eat them,” Caustic replied, moving to point at the little nucleus. “It seems that our little fungus here has found a way to survive.” I leaned against the wall to think for a moment. “Do all the cones you possess have Iscons?” 

“I have yet to check all of them, but it is possible since I grabbed them all from the same area.”

“I imagine you will try to cultivate them here for study?”

“Precisely.”

“Oh joy, cannot wait to see what you do with it in the games.” I sarcastically replied with a shudder. He finally gave me a smile, but it was a rather sadistic one. Natalie seemed very lost. “Um, what do Iscons do and why are they important?”

Before the old man could reply, I jumped at the chance to tell her. “Iscons are a form of fungus that used to grow in abundance here. It is edible. However, if you are to eat them raw, you may find yourself experiencing hallucinations. Cooked they are perfectly fine. They became nigh extinct because as soon as drug cartels figured out they have drug-like properties, they bagged them and sold them to the highest buyer.” I looked to Caustic who nodded to agree with me. Natalie wrinkled her nose. “Please tell me you are not going to use that in the games. I do not want to be thinking my teammates have multiple heads, or whatever it causes you to see.”

“No, I do not believe the Syndicate would allow me to use a different gas other than what I have. If they do; well…..I will warn the both of you in advance.” At that I gave him a surprised look. “What?”

“Nothing. Uh, thanks for sharing this discovery. I will make sure to not tell people about it.” With a courteous nod the man turned off the screen and ushered us out of his lab. “Let’s go see what happened to your experiment.”

xxx

//Turns out that the hood we had them under had a small leak which had allowed moisture into the containers. Natalie looked quite crushed at this news because it meant that people would be in her lab to fix it. Strangers were going to be touching her stuff. Caustic reassured the two of us that we can remix everything and keep them in his lab while the repairs were done. After the repairs, he said, we can mix the liquid into the solution in her lab. Something about not wanting to contaminate his own space which is understandable.//

I leaned back in my chair to look at the clock on my wall. It was eight at night and the sun was just beginning to set. Normally, I would be out on my balcony admiring the sunset with a snack, but dealing with two geniuses left me tired. After our little moment about the Iscons, Caustic had lightened up considerably; going so far as to help me move a particularly heavy box when I stumbled. Of course I heard him mumble under his breath something about his calculations being right which I knew was about the discussion a day prior. Still it was nice that he was a little more pleasant to be around. I started to see why Natalie was so quick to defend him. When he wasn’t surrounded by people he disliked he was an O.K. guy. 

I went to type that down, but paused as someone knocked on my door. Thinking it was Natalie, I called out, “It’s open!”

I was not expecting heavy footsteps to accompany the door opening, nor the masked face that the feet belonged to. Lo and behold, Dr. Mikhail Caustic was standing in my doorway looking as scary as ever. 


End file.
